We all fall down, by Michelle Dimsey

There are many advantages that come with building a successful and lucrative book and business. Some of the obvious ones include money, satisfaction, a purpose beyond "just surviving" and a sense of freedom. And really, who doesn't want to be their own boss?

But let's face it--there's a trade off involved--a price to be paid when you decide to run your own business instead of working for someone else. It's true, you get the credit when things are going great--but when the yogurt hits the fan, there's rarely anyone to blame but you. The potential rewards may be enticing but can you take the heat of responsibility when something doesn't work out the way you planned?

Reality is no matter how successful your business is there are going to be setbacks. How you handle them is a huge component of your long term success. If you lack the ability to embrace your failures and use them as stepping stones to keep moving forward--owning a business or taking any risks for that matter, might not be for you.

You're Not Alone

The biggest and most successful entrepreneurs out there have all endured the kinds of setbacks I'm talking about. They've miscalculated, made errors in judgment and have all dropped the ball a time or two. (Donna would use baseball to describe this--the best hitter out there misses the ball more than half of the time--what makes him a success is his ability to get back in the box.)

There's a couple of things that the most successful CEOs, athletes, coaches, inventors, parents, authors, business owners and the like have in common. One of those things is they fail more times than anyone else. And they're okay with that.

Here are a few of examples:

Before Thomas Edison finally had a working light bulb he failed more than 10,000 times.

NBC canceled Tony Robbins new show, Breakthrough, after only 2 episodes for lack of viewership. (yes, the Tony Robbins)

John Grisham, one of the most accomplished authors of our time, was turned down by 16 agents and 12 publishing houses before his first novel was picked up.

Henry Ford went bankrupt 5 times before succeeding in the auto industry.

Chicken Soup for the Soul was rejected by 144 publishers.

The leading quarterback in the NFL for touchdowns, completions, passing yards and wins also has the most interceptions.

Seth Godin, best-selling author and internet marketing guru, goofed with the title of his latest book and had to change it in order to make it sell.

The list is never-ending. One of the other major things successful people have in common is the way they deal with their setbacks. I bet even Tony Robbins, the Tony Robbins, was just a touch embarrassed his latest show failed. But do you think he's going to stop dreaming to inspire more lives because his show got canceled? It's highly unlikely.

When Seth Godin realized the mistake he made with the title of his new book he stepped right up and took responsibility for it. He owned it.

He didn't blame his publisher or his editor. He changed the title before subsequent printings and moved on. When we own our setbacks instead of looking for scapegoats, we are directing the relationship we have to the situation. It's an announcement to your inner critic and the rest of the world that you will not be deterred from your success.

Control What You Can

There are many factors beyond our control when attempting to build a business or accomplish any goal. What you can always control is your relationship to the hurdles, the disappointments and the setbacks. There will be times when you may have to regroup, change directions or modify your approach. But you don't ever have to give up on yourself. Embrace those failures--or at least learn to live with them--because every one of them moves you one step closer to success.

Believe it or not, we all came into this world equipped with what it takes to succeed. When you were learning to walk you fell down--a lot. Most of the time you landed on your cushy bottom but sometimes you got scraped up or cracked your noggin. But once you locked in on the goal of learning to walk you could not be deterred from it. You couldn't conceive of the idea of giving up and you didn't waste any time doubting yourself or questioning whether or not sticking to it would be worth it in the end. You took complete responsibility for your success and you made it happen.

So whatever your goals are--building a business, achieving your ideal weight, writing that book or taking that dream vacation--tap in to your inner toddler. She's confident and resilient. She has what it takes to get things done. And she's knows how to fall down, get back up and have fun while she's doing it.

P.S. Support your friend's and family's goals the way you would support a toddler. You would never discourage one from learning to walk.

Michelle Dimsey is a full-time mother, part-time kid and believes we could all use a big ice cream cone filled with the confidence of our early years. She is currently a staff writer for Donna Kozik, founder of MyBigBusinessCard.com and the Write a Book in a Weekend™ virtual seminar.

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